The pain seems to go on and on, wearing him down as it drags on. He knows his sense of time isn't matching reality but the pain makes it seems longer than he's sure its been and it takes all his control to keep from jerking the wounded stump away from her because she's the source of the pain and she needs to stop.
Except if she stops - she'll just have to start again at some point and he'd rather take it all down now than break it up over a series. So he grinds his teeth down and locks his jaw, eyes eventually squeezing shut, both at the pain and because he doesn't want to see what she's doing anymore. Because that's him - and yet its not him at all. It's just something that's lived in him for over a year now. He barely hears her murmur and as much as he trusts her, in that moment, feeling that pain, he doesn't believe her.
And then the pain spikes and the yell strangles up through his throat, catches in his locked teeth and gutters out, animal and raw but at least muted. Even in pain he doesn't want to scare her. The pain builds and he knows he can't take it anymore, that he needs to yank his arm away, that it doesn't matter if they have to start again later he just can't take anymore now
and he holds it there for one heart beat. Two. Fights to stay steady and resist -
and then its gone. Everything's gone. So fast that it takes his brain and his body time to register that. He sags forward a little, catches himself on his other arm and his hairline is damp with sweat. He feels cold. And - nothing.
Where his arm had been, where the ruined stump had been - nothing.
He pants through his lips, half expects the pain to come back but - nothing. Its not numb. There's just - nothing there. Nothing at all.
It's a little terrifying. His last connection to anything even close to an arm is gone and even if it hurt at least it was something. His hand lifts but he stops before he touches it, not about to mess with the wires. Instead his fingers clench slow and he nods. Exhales. Lowers his hand.
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Except if she stops - she'll just have to start again at some point and he'd rather take it all down now than break it up over a series. So he grinds his teeth down and locks his jaw, eyes eventually squeezing shut, both at the pain and because he doesn't want to see what she's doing anymore. Because that's him - and yet its not him at all. It's just something that's lived in him for over a year now. He barely hears her murmur and as much as he trusts her, in that moment, feeling that pain, he doesn't believe her.
And then the pain spikes and the yell strangles up through his throat, catches in his locked teeth and gutters out, animal and raw but at least muted. Even in pain he doesn't want to scare her. The pain builds and he knows he can't take it anymore, that he needs to yank his arm away, that it doesn't matter if they have to start again later he just can't take anymore now
and he holds it there for one heart beat. Two. Fights to stay steady and resist -
and then its gone. Everything's gone. So fast that it takes his brain and his body time to register that. He sags forward a little, catches himself on his other arm and his hairline is damp with sweat. He feels cold. And - nothing.
Where his arm had been, where the ruined stump had been - nothing.
He pants through his lips, half expects the pain to come back but - nothing. Its not numb. There's just - nothing there. Nothing at all.
It's a little terrifying. His last connection to anything even close to an arm is gone and even if it hurt at least it was something. His hand lifts but he stops before he touches it, not about to mess with the wires. Instead his fingers clench slow and he nods. Exhales. Lowers his hand.
"Nothing. There's nothing there at all now."