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[Victor had kissed him. Not just a kiss on the cheek either. Victor had outright kissed him in front of everyone at the competition; everyone watching on television. When it had happened Yuri had been too caught in the moment to care. Everything had come down to just him and Victor laying there on the ice, looking at each other with flushed faces. His heart had skipped a beat or two, he was pretty sure, and he felt like he was flying in that moment.

Reality had caught up soon enough and the awards had been given out--he got silver!--and then they were back at the hotel. Everything caught up with Yuri then and exhaustion nipped at his senses but he couldn't sleep. His mind wouldn't stop.

Why had Victor kissed him? Was it for show? Had it meant something? Was it just Victor being his overly affectionate self?

His anxiety started to get the best of him and around 4am he hadn't been able to stay in bed any longer which is why he was out on the balcony of their hotel room staring out over the city lost in a daze. His body ached and he wanted to sleep more, knew that he needed to since they had a busy next few days ahead of them but he couldn't stop thinking. Couldn't stop worrying.

If you mess up this free skate and miss the podium, I'll take responsibility by resigning as your coach.

Yuri's hands twitched then clutched the cup between his hands tighter as he leaned on the railing. That had just been an attempt to motivate him...right? Or would that..would it apply to everything from here on out? Would Victor leaving be the consequence of him failing? And if so, did the kiss really mean anything then?]

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Us.

[It's said in a whisper before Yuri can stop himself and he immediately regrets it, eyes closing tightly as he takes a shaky breath.]

...What we are...where this is all going.

....where do you want it to go, Yuuri?

[He shifts to hold Yuuri closer]

I know what I would like. I won't be able to return to Russia long-term after this, and I would like to stay with you and be your boyfriend. But I don't want to push you too far. I can't stand seeing you cry.

[Where did he want it to go?

The mug clinks softly on the railing as Yuri carefully sets it down and turns in Victor's embrace, forcing himself to do it--needing to do it as he peers blearily up at the other.

He really should have grabbed his glasses.]

I...want you to stay. [His voice is still a whisper, a tremble there that makes it clear he's scared.] I don't want...I don't want to lose you now that I have you.

Then I'll stay.

[He brushes Yuuri's hair from his face, smiling]

Even if you decide to retire after this year, I'll stay.

[Yuri's eyes start to close at the touch but he stops them when Victor speaks again.]

Really?

[That..Victor would be giving up a lot if that were the case.]

But you're--what about going home?

Ah, Russia isn't too fond of men like me, Yurochka.

[He smiles, but it's that smile he usually gives when he's hiding something]

They put up with me because I bring so much fame to the country, but it wouldn't be comfortable for me if I returned to Russia long-term.

[Oh.

Oh that's right.

Yuri's expression melts into something that's one part sadness and one part anger.]

Then you'll stay with me.

[And there's the blush suddenly.]

Stay in Japan, I mean. Stay in Japan.

[He was particularly terrible at this.]

[Victor chuckles and presses a kiss to Yuuri's forehead]

I will, if you want me to. I like Japan, it's everything Russia isn't.

[The tension in Yuri's shoulders melts away with the kiss and he manages a faint but real smile.]

Why wouldn't I want you to? I can't imagine not having you around.

I don't want to push you too hard again.

[Yuri shook his head quickly.]

You don't need to worry about that, Victor.

Ah, but I will, now that I've seen what happens when I do.

I'm not upset about you kissing me!

[It's blurted out before Yuri can stop the words from tumbling out and he can feel himself getting overly worried.]

I'm not--you haven't done anything to upset me, Victor. What happened in the parking garage was..I was just...my nerves were already a mess.

But what I said didn't help and I know that now.

[He looks down]

I hurt you, Yuuri. I don't want to hurt you.

[Lifting a hand to cup Victor's cheek, Yuri could feel his stomach twisting.]

I forgive you, though. I'm not upset with you, Victor.

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