The push catches him off guard and his breath hitches as he saws with it, hands falling away from his face as he looks at the other. His eyes are bloodshot and even with his glasses on he can't really focus right now but he can still make out the other's shape.

And he's grounded enough now that he can understand what the other is trying to do.

"I know," he admitted in a soft tone, gaze dropping. "It's not fair to him to have to...for my anxiety to make him feel terrible." And he didn't want that. He had never wanted that. He was just trying to do what he thought was best but, yet again, his impulses had turned out to be the wrong impulses to follow.

"I want him to skate again. I know he misses it..I don't want to keep him from doing what he loves."